literature

King, let me take her hand

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GentlePeace's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

King, let me take the princess hand
I’m just a jester, but I’m sure you’ll understand
That we’re in love, and I truly make her laugh
I’m no prince, but you have to give me a chance

I’m not wearing shiny armor; because I’m not weak
And I have no servants; I’ll finish my own deeds
I might not be rich; but she’s always happy
And I might not be perfect; but we are both who we need

So please King, open your eyes so you could see
That the princess and I are truly meant to be
I’m just a jester, but I only plead
For you to let us live joyous and safely
Few people will understand the meaning.
I made this poem thinking "either a poem or a story", poems are easier :D
So, what do you think?

Peace and stay lovely!
© 2012 - 2024 GentlePeace
Comments81
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Zark123's avatar
This poem comes across as something that transcends the usual princess-prince love subject, that define generic fairy tales or poems. I feel the rhythm of it has a certain chant-like feel to it and this is naturally relates to a jester's tone who dishes out epic tales of bravery and valor. In this chant however, there is a sense of transcendental courage, which is displayed by the jester openly expressing his affection for the princess, which is undoubtedly a risk to his very life.

However, there were some shortcomings of this poem, without which it would have been a complete masterpiece. To begin with, the rhyme scheme is not constant but varied across the 3 paragraphs - this destabilizes the theme - jesters were very good with rhymes in their time. Also, in some places it sounds more like prose - and this is due to the fact that cliched language has been employed. An inclusion of a few poetic devices - alliteration, chiasmus, etc. - would help. I know you have attempted what may be termed a piece of prosetry, but the peril in this is it might end up as neither. So, be careful.

Overall, it's something different, simple and a piece of writing people can connect to. Well done!