No step, no matter how short and irrelevant it may seem, it's not in vain. Conscious both clears things up while also clouding one's sight. If your heart is someone else's and it's being thorn apart, make it beat more clearly so your intent is seen. A thorn heart, gets weaker as time passes by, if nothing is done, you should reconsider who's the owner of it.
If anything, I believe that your test is full of both doubt and hesitation, I haven't read any of your other texts, so I can't tell more than that~