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:icongentlepeace: More from GentlePeace


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September 14, 2013
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I once knew a girl whose name was Summer
She acted like a child, she was so happy and wild
And she would always share her love,
She was always with a smile

But one day I noticed, she was no longer happy
So I approached her and said “Why so unhappy?”
She didn’t respond, she just started crying
Later she said “My father is dying.”

Her father had cancer, bedridden and solemn
I only had one answer, “We both know where he’s going.”
She grabbed my hand and responded with “Thank you.”
So then we stood up, and continued growing

A few weeks later, her father passed away
But I always held her, day by day
She never left my side, I helped her feel beloved
On the worst days of Summer, I gave her my love
Something I came up with for the contest hosted by:
:iconknightsofromance:
The theme being: Summer of love.

Someone tell me how I can make that link a icon!

So, what do you think?
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsilver-sung:
silver-sung Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love the last line, "On the worst days of Summer, I gave her my love"
This is a really sweet poem. I love it. :)
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
:iconheehee-plz:
Reply
:iconcaptainozz:
CaptainOzz Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013
You've got quite the talent here, the rhyme scheme (intentional or not) works rather well in the context, your closing lines though, the last 2 of your last stanza, the couple of "I helped her feel beloved" and "I gave her my love" doesn't really make sense to me. Perhaps if you changed "beloved" to "adored" or even just accentuate the e (from e to ) to change the phonetic sounding?
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I see what you mean there.

I'm not sure though, maybe if I add "I gave her all my love"?
Reply
:iconcaptainozz:
CaptainOzz Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013
The problem (as far as I see it) is the two lines in direct conflict, they're not similar enough to work as repetition and therefore just sort of look out of place.
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I agree, I should've found better words.
Reply
:iconlacesnflowers:
lacesnflowers Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
this is so sweet!!! :clap:
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconlacesnflowers:
lacesnflowers Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconmuffeli:
Muffeli Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013
Okay now you made me cry :sad:
It's just so beautiful and sad at the same time.
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I didn't mean to :huggle:!
Thanks though!
Reply
:iconmuffeli:
Muffeli Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013
It just made me think that I fear that I lose my dad first.
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh... I wasn't going for that.
Sorry about that. :huggle:
:iconadoration-plz:
Reply
:iconmuffeli:
Muffeli Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013
No it's okay. I realized that thing long ago. But it's horrible feeling when you are in another country and your dad calls you and tell that he is in hospital. That was over year ago but still I scared.
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well...
In the end, 
I just know that everything will be alright.
:iconadoration-plz:
Reply
:iconmuffeli:
Muffeli Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2013
Well it maybe will be alright.
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconklepter:
klepter Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That's great piece. It's nice  sweet and  at same time.
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.
Reply
:iconklepter:
klepter Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Heh,  yea no problem dude, keep it up.
Reply
:iconklepter:
klepter Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I give up at trying to write these correctly
Reply
:iconklepter:
klepter Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
There  supposed to e an "a"in there after "that's".
Reply
:iconpukachi:
Pukachi Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013
How to make the link an icon: On the right hand side somewhere, there's a "Details" section, and in it is the thumbnail, use that
:thumb400278193:
Anyhoo, I....LOVE IT! How touching and beautiful and amazing and...yeah :glomp:
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"On the right hand side somewhere"
. . .
. . .
Could you be a bit more specific :XD: ?
Reply
:iconpukachi:
Pukachi Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013
Whisper sweet nothings in my ear! Under "Featured in Groups" which is under "More from deviantArt" which is under "More from ~GentlePeace" 
:D
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.
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